JB Smoove: "That's How I Dooz It." DVD Review

Well, if you can get past the horrible title of this DVD, you're in store for some really bad stand-up comedy. Before JB Smoove comes on stage, there is a short introduction in which he talks about making a "dooz it" pie, but then says he doesn't know how to make a pie, and if he did make a pie, all he'd put in it is "dooz it." What does that mean? Absolutely nothing. But it's a good indication of everything that is to follow.

JB Smoove comes on stage to some awful song (which also has the lyric "That's how I dooz it") and says again, "That's how I dooz it." The music stops, and he begins by separating white people from black people by telling an audience member, "Don't you ever let a white man out-black you, playboy, ever," and then, "White folks in here giving it up like this." Why do black comedians insist on doing this? Then the song comes on again. And then again. He keeps finding excuses to play that awful song. It's nearly five minutes into the program before the song truly stops.

Then JB Smoove (whose real name is Jerry Brooks) spends quite a bit of time bragging about his semen. And it might have been funny if he actually used the word "semen." But instead he only uses the word "come" (though I bet he spells it "c-u-m"). Anyway, the song and the intro are such incredible turn-offs, that it takes a long while to draw me in, and he does it when he starts in on encouraging thieves to go to a gym and get in shape, to be prepared for when being chased on foot by police. That's pretty funny. But he then goes on for quite a while about being arrested, and that's less funny.

There is one moment that made me burst out laughing. This is it: He was chiding a member of the audience about his girlfriend, "Don't buy her perfume." He talks about women's chemistry, how it's not the perfume but a woman's individual chemistry that makes her smell good. He says, "The next time you're in Time Square, every lady you walk by, just lick their face. You're going to go to jail, but you will find out that every lady tastes a little different." (Of course, he should have said "lick her face" not "their face" - but the joke is still funny.)

JB Smoove uses a metal chair as a prop throughout his performance, and improv students will definitely be impressed by the number of different ways he's able to use it. And if you want to watch a man pretend to fuck a metal chair, this is the DVD for you.

Clearly, JB Smoove has something of a shoe fetish, for he goes on about heels for a while. The King Kong bit at the end is amusing. But then he ends his show by saying, "And that's how I dooz it." And of course that bloody song comes on again. During the credits, he's backstage, giving us this bit of wisdom: "You know, a lot of people don't know how you dooz it until you show them how the hell you dooz it." Thanks, genius.

The special features on this DVD include something called "Behind the Smoove," which is more nonsense about "how I dooz it" and him talking before the show. He seems pretty full of himself. The second special feature is titled "Dooz And Doozn'ts," and it's approximately two and a half minutes of JB Smoove doing some stand-up without an audience, and with a more comfortable chair.

That's How I Dooz It. was released on April 3, 2012.