The Mole Man Of Belmont Avenue is a comedy about two brothers who have inherited an apartment building and let it fall into disrepair. Tenants are moving out, and others are threatening to do so. But perhaps their biggest problem is the creature that lives in the basement and comes out to feed on the tenants’ pets and then on larger prey.
John FaFlamboy and Mike Bradecich wrote and directed this film, and also star as Marion Mugg and Jarmon Mugg, the two brothers who own the building. After some tenants move out, they decide to renovate one of the many empty apartments to use as a model to attract new occupants. The first thing they do is take down all the notices about missing pets. And the second thing they do is… well, have a drink. There is a bar in the bottom floor of the building. They talk about cleaning up the building and then getting the band back together. (Like in The Blues Brothers, except these guys are on no mission from God.)
Suddenly there is an odd music video segment that includes the two brothers pushing brooms around to clean the place. When they shake themselves from this fantasy video, one asks, “Do we have a broom?” The other answers, “No, but I have leather pants.” They can imagine cleaning, but the actual beautification process is something to put off as long as possible.
About the missing pets, one of them suggests, “Maybe it’s an evil rich lady who’s making a coat from their fur.” That’s a great idea, but these two aren’t that lucky. It’s in fact a hungry creature that lives below the furnace. We see a creepy hand reach into an apartment through the mail slot to get a dog. Of course, now that I think about it, individual apartments don’t have mail slots like that. But, whatever. The brothers see this happen from the hall. The creature has trouble getting the dog through the slot, but is eventually successful, and that is a very funny moment. In fact, all the moments in which pets are taken are among the funniest bits of the film. The guys try to make their building monster-proof, which of course calls for a montage.
There is a lot of silly stuff, including the bit about the drugs and Atari 2600. And there are some seriously funny lines, with a perfect dry delivery. As when there is only one pet left and Marion says, “All right, we’re going to need…I have no idea what we’re going to need at this point.” Or the conversation between Marion and Adrian. Adrian says, “What’s up, Mary?” Marion responds, “I was just trying to convince your girlfriend to leave you for me.” Adrian comments, “You’re funny.” Marion replies, “Yeah, that’s true, but unrelated.”
The film boasts a couple of famous people in the cast, including Robert Englund as one of the tenants and Tim Kazurinsky as Homeless Harold. Tim Kazurinksy is particularly funny, and his scenes are among the film’s best. He even quotes Anais Nin.
I enjoyed the film, so I’ll try to forgive its use of the non-word “guesstimate.” Also, the stoner tenant is a bit much after a while. A little of him goes a long way. And there is another problem. Two cops say they’re going to return the next day and arrest the brothers if they don’t take back a box of kittens, which certain circumstances have made impossible for them to do. That plot line is left dangling.
By the way, apparently they really have a band. According to the closing credits, “My Foot And Your Ass Are Getting Married” was written by Mike Bradecich, and performed by The Mole Men Of Belmont Orchestra Company (including Mike Bradecich on vocals and guitar, Nicholas Barron on lead guitar and backing vocals, and John LaFlamboy on backing vocals). Several other songs were written and performed by Nicholas Barron.
Special Features
The DVD includes a commentary track by the two writers/directors/stars, but don’t bother with it. They start off by saying they’re not only doing a commentary track, but also playing the Mole Man drinking game. It, like all drinking games, is lame. In this one, they drink every time their characters swear. It’s not much fun to listen to people drinking on a commentary track. And it’s even less fun to listen to them talk about how they’re drinking. And it’s still less fun to hear them get excited over how often they swear in the movie that they wrote. There are a few interesting tidbits of information scattered throughout, like the stuff about the location, and about using the sketch of the hole in the actual set next to the hole in the wall. Really, though, if you’re going to do a commentary track, it’s a good idea to stay sober. These two guys get louder and more annoying as they go on, and after a while come across as totally obnoxious and self-involved. Forty minutes into the film, one says, “What should we do to make this audio commentary interesting?” They don’t have an answer. At least they didn’t by the fifty-five minute mark, which is when I gave up and turned it off.
The DVD also includes the film’s trailer.
The Mole Man Of Belmont Avenue was released on September 10, 2013 through Level 33 Entertainment.
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