Movie Review: The Watch

The Watch is the second film directed by Akiva Schaffer, known by most as 1/3 of The Lonely Island and for his 2007 directorial debut Hot Rod.  The film is a Sci-Fi Comedy starring Ben Stiller, Vince Vaughn, Jonah Hill, and Richard Ayoade as four goofballs who form a neighborhood watch group in an effort to solve a recent murder in their suburban town which turns out to be linked to an alien plot to destroy planet Earth.

I was disappointed to find out that Schaffer directed this movie after seeing it because Hot Rod was such a cleverly written and hilarious movie and The Watch is pretty much the polar opposite.  Though he did not really have a hand in the writing of this one, and the script was apparently passed around like a bag of Oreos.  And trust me, it shows. I could not figure out who this movie is supposed to be for.  I mean, the fart jokes and gross-out gags imply that this movie is for a teenage audience, yet the character struggles (i.e. Stiller’s character being unable to get his wife pregnant, and Vaughn’s struggle to control his teenage daughter) imply that this movie is for a more adult audience.  Either way neither demographic will go crazy for The Watch because, for the most part, it stinks.

My main problem with The Watch is the whole alien aspect, which is done very poorly by the way.  I mean, the entire movie seems half-assed and clunky, especially writing-wise, but the more you learn about these aliens, the faster the story line unravels into a mess of pure stupidity.  I was more excited for this movie before I realized that it turns into a crappy American knock-off of Attack The Block.

I think the story would allow for more humor if there were no extra terrestrials at all and instead the neighborhood watch was after a human criminal rather than some hackneyed looking aliens who can only be killed by “shooting them in the dick.”  Dumb!

Despite a lame story line, the humor seems forced, the protagonists are un-relatable buffoons, and some of the acting is pretty lackluster even for this kind of movie.

So is there anything good about The Watch you ask?

Yeah, Jonah Hill is pretty funny as always, there is a brief but hilarious Lonely Island appearance, and Will Forte’s character is the funniest part of the whole movie despite being a small role.

4/10 Akivas