Just a note...

I like watching movies. I like reviewing movies. I like writing short quick little articles for you readers to glance at and use to help with choosing a way to kill a few hours.

This review will be very short.

Very short.



Alpha Dog
"Directed" by Nick Cassevetes
Starring...well look at the poster and you'll see.

Let me just do this quickly. Hopefully any studio execs who might review this site on the basis of giving me a press screening invite won't hold this against me. How could they? This movie sat on the shelf for nearly 2 years before it was dumped in a January release with little to no advertising.

With good reason. This is a completely pointless and infuriating movie. Why is Nick Cassavetes allowed to direct movies? He took every character in this movie (with the exception of the character of Zach played by Anton Yelchin) and made them caricatures who are completely devoid of life or so overblown and overacted that they're almost cartoonish.

The best part of this movie was Sharon Stone in a fat suit at the end.

Don't waste your time. Everything you need to know is in the trailer and the pictures of Justin Timberlake's abs are all over the net anyway.

Why Larry Clark didn't make this movie is a mystery to me. At least it would have been interesting. He is a master and showing the dark side of American youth and he does it with such deft skill that it is almost hard to watch. This is how this movie should have been done.

Instead we get a glossy Hollywood version of Hollywood kids acting, barely, like thugs.

This is not worth a rental and barely worth the time to watch it on Starz when it premieres.